“He wo hitte, shiri tsubome (Jap trans: "There's no point in squeezing your buttocks after you have farted" or "No use shutting the barn door after the horse has bolted”
( Japanese proverb )
When you fall asleep tonight I'm gonna fart in your face. ( Donnie Darko )
I tell you, we are here on earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.
( Kurt Vonnegut )
Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time. ( Lyndon B. Johnson )
I`ve been dubbed the man most responsible for the dumbing of America, so obviously I don`t put much stock into thoughts like (the theme of the `dumbing down` of contemporary comedy). People love to laugh, and most people can find humor in just about anything, which is great. Trying to label or categorize comedy is ridiculous. I mean, if you laugh at a fart joke, does that make you a moron? I don`t think so. ( Jim Carrey )
A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass. ( Martin Luther )
If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it’s like—you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why.
( Megan Fox )
Love is the fart Of every heart: It pains a man when ’tis kept close, And others doth offend, when ’tis let loose. ( Sir John Suckling )
“Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is.
Come let us fart in the home.
There is no art in a fart.
Still a fart may not be artless.
Let us fart and artless fart in the home.” ( Ernest Hemingway )
He who farts in church sits on his own pew ( anonymous genius )
Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly. ( Benjamin Franklin )
"A whizzpopper!" cried the BFG, beaming at her. "Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping if forbidden among human beans?" ( Roald Dahl, The BFG )
Nicole – Knickers, as I call her. I would swear, burp and fart in front of her. I’d try and embarrass her and she would pretend to be shocked. I always played up on that. It was a real elder sister-younger brother relationship. ( Ewan McGregor )
Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most cultured society it has long been banished from the social board. It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been degraded to brotherhood with flatulence. Among the best bred, these two arts are now indulged in only private--though by consent of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the fundamental sigh. ( Mark Twain )